Whether you go down fighting or go down flailing, it's never nice to see your side exit a tournament. However, it can be quite funny watching others' teams disappoint a nation on the grandest stage of them all.
While Australia and Spain were the first confirmed teams to be heading home, England joined them earlier today (Friday) as Italy failed to beat Costa Rica. Of those three sides, their exits have all contrasted in the manner at which they failed to gather points, with the least likely of the trio, probably the most deserving of something.
Australia's loss to the Netherlands wasn't unexpected, particularly given the demolition handed out to Spain by Arjen Robben and co last Friday night. The unfancied Aussies had been unlucky in their opener with Chile, and had given a decent account of themselves, but the Holland game was going to need an even bigger showing from them.
That's exactly what they gave, but couldn't quite hang on to record a famous victory to coincide with one of the World Cup's greatest ever goals. When Arjen Robben slotted home his third goal of the tournament to give Holland an undeserving lead, it looked like Louis van Gaal's side had weathered the storm from the Socceroos, as Ange Postecoglu's side had done well to frustrate and attack the Dutch in equal measure.
However, they couldn't have counted on what the boys from the land of Bouncer's response would be. Former Hearts player, Ryan McGowan ripped a hopeful looking diagonal ball from the half way line in to the path of Tim Cahill. Following the ball with his eyes, the New York Red Bull ascended without the aid of wings to send a tremendous mid air volley crashing off the under side of the bar and in.
FLYING HOME
Inflatable kangaroos were lobbed about the stadium as both sets of fans couldn't believe what they had just seen. Robbie Savage climaxed on live radio. (Get that image out of your head if you can). Cahill celebrated in his trademark style, his shadow boxing with the corner flag perhaps foreshadowing his effort knocking every other strike out in the race for goal of the tournament.
Instead, it would ultimately be a fond reminder of the day they were knocked out of the competition.
The wonder goal saw the Socceroos continue to take the game to Holland and in the second half, they were awarded a penalty, another added to the list of soft awards this WC, for a handball the box. Australia captain, Mile Jedinak, pulled rank and dispatched the spot kick to give Australia the lead from being a goal down. With momentum now in their favour, they were on course to provide the Dutch with as much if a shock as they themselves had dished out to the reigning World Champions.
The lead didn't last long though, as van Persie restored parity for Holland only a few minutes later. Some neat play in the left eventually found the ball at the feet of RVP in the box, who had time and space to lash it past Matt Ryan. While our of sorts, the Dutch always looked like having goals in them, and the leveller perhaps made up for the dodgy penalty decision, even though it killed the underdog drama of what could have been.
Within ten minutes, the dreams from Down Under were dashed completely, as Memphis Depay's potshot from 25 yards crept past Ryan and in to the bottom left hand corner to seal the win for the Dutch. The most uttered phrase at this World Cup seems to be "the keeper should have done better", and in this instance, it was hard to argue with the pundits. While a powerful shot, Ryan had plenty of time to react, but just couldn't get his stretched arm to it.
Harold Bishop, Donald Fisher, Alf Roberts, Lou Carpenter, Gaylrand Gillian Blakeney, the guy who plays Paul Robinson, Toadfish and his cousin Stonefish and all of the cast of Heartbreak High, your boys gave one hell of a showing.
While nowhere near as convincing as their win over Spain had been, the Dutch had dug deep to secure their surge to the second stage. They will have to do it without RVP, who picked up a second yellow of the games, but he can rest easy knowing his side have progressed already. The Australians though will contest a dead rubber with Spain without Tim Cahill for the same reason, which would have been a bigger deal had they held out for the win.
DONDIESTA LA AEROPUERTO?
That dead rubber comes courtesy of Spain's woeful defence of the trophy they won in South Africa, where a flat and abject loss to a far higher spirited Chile, saw them follow Australia out of Group B. Having been humbled by Holland, the reigning champs were made to look like chumps by the Chileans, where the tiki-taka tactics of possession and passing brought very little end product. A well worked early strike by Eduardo Vargaswas added to thanks to another calamity from Iker Casillas. As is the wont of many goalies in Brazil this year, the Champions League winner punched a free kick clear when a catch would have not only sufficed, but would also have but prevented what followed.
His punch fell right at the feet of Charles Aranguiz , who duly dispatched a a delightful toe dig past the hapless Spanish custodian. With a number of the Real Madrid players failing to ignite the World Cup due to their extended season that culminated in European Cup glory, those amongst the Spanish ranks seem to be feeling it more than most. Casillas has looked shaky since the final & Ramos has been uninspiring at the back and less lethal in attack than he had shown in the club run in. Xabi Alonso's only meaningful contribution will go down as the ignominious name next to the penalty he scored in the 5-1 Dutch drubbing.
Barcelona's relatively torrid season has also seen the like of Xavi, Iniesta, Jordi Alba, Busquets and Pique continue to be less than the outstanding players the world has come to know them as. Fernando Torres and Diego Costa have been ineffectual in the lone striker role, playing more like a "False 9" than international number nines perhaps should. The World Cup is anyone's now, due to Del Bosque's boy's demise.
Anyone's but England's.
THEY'RE COMING HOME, THEY'RE COMING HOME, ETC....
When Wayne Rooney finally broke his World Cup duck to level against Uruguay, the neutral football fan would have given a wry smile, noting this remarkably not very remarkable achievement. For a player who has been first choice starting striker for England in the last couple of World Cups, to go so long without finding the net has no doubt been frustrating on its own, without the media continually tethering that albatross around his neck. Compared to Thomas Muller's eight goals in seven games record, wasteful Wayne had perhaps been persisted with for longer than the punters would normally put up with.
As Glen Johnson waltzed past the Uruguay left back to pick Rooney out, a nation (not mine, I hasten to add) held its breath then exhaled as one, with Wazza's tap in the perceived catalyst to overcoming adversity and pushing on to greatness. Alas, that wasn't to be.
Luis Suarez had been written off by pretty much all of England going in to this game. His side had been pitiful against Chile, and while heaping the pressure of a nation upon Rooney, they failed to bank on one man running the show for the opposition. Having only just recovered from surgery, the English media were quick to write off the Suarez affect, but what they should have been doing was writing him on to score and subsequently win (as many Scots likely did at 5/2 for a mighty £7 return), to save them from having to embarrassingly retract their words in the aftermath.
Opening the scoring just before half time, the Liverpool striker dinked a deft header over Joe Hart from a sweet Edison Cavani ball from the left wing, force feeding the first few morsels of humble pie in to the mouths of the likes of Adrian Chiles and others who aren't as offensive as Adrian Chiles. It could have been more at the start if the second half, but for unusually poor finishing from both Suarez and Cavani.
Rooney restoring parity had 1966 and all that gubbins back on the lips and tips of the commentators tongues in no time, with ITV's mic man offering up this tasty nugget:
"Rooney's first World Cup goal will hopefully...um...be the first of...eh..some more".
Quality stuff.
Even if Rooney bags a triple hat trick against Costa Rica, it will all be for nought, as Suarez second of the game sealed the three points for Uruguay and all but condemned England to the first flight home. More costly defending saw a long kick out inadvertently flicked on by Suarez's Liverpool team mate Steven Gerrard. His touch meant his international rival stayed onside to keep his tiring legs going, blasting past Joe Hart before being dog piled by his team mates in celebration.
The defensive frailties that had seen the English suffer against an Italian side who didn't have to step up a gear in their opener, had been their undoing again, as both Cahill and Jagielka failed to deal with the mere presence, let alone skill and power of Suarez. That goal left Roy Hodgson's men needing snookers to stay in Brazil.
However, Costa Rica's shock victory over Italy on Friday afternoon, was more of a foul on the brown for the English, as Brian Ruiz cushioned a header in off the bar, putting the Central American's in the pink, as the whites went down the pocket, to further my billiards based analogy.
The press down south can chalk it up to bad luck, a relatively inexperienced side or whatever they want to blame the tactical miscues on, but the fact is that England just weren't good enough on the night. Sure, if Rooney's header had been a few inches lower at the start of the second half, or if Sturridge had pulled the trigger earlier when in on goal, it may have had a different outcome.
However they didn't, and there wasn't.
Much of the blame has been levelled at Gerrard, who in the last two months has seen defensive slips, both literal and figurative, ruin what had been an otherwise high calibre season for the captain of the Kop. In my eyes, it was a collective failing and can't/shouldn't be placed on the shoulders of the skipper. He may have indirectly assisted the killer goal, but he wasn't the one passing up chances to at the other end to prevent them having what will now be forty-eight years of hurt.
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